Just heard Andrea Arnold's new film is going to be out this year, and brilliantly its got Michael Fassbender in it. The first thing I ever saw by Andrea Arnold was a short film on a giveaway DVD stuck to the front of a film magazine. I didn't want the magazine, so I plucked the DVD off and stuck it to the front of a magazine I was buying (therefore, on several levels, this was not technically theft.)

The film was called Wasp, and later went on to win a Short Film Oscar. I then watched Red Road, an amazing, slightly unnerving drama, where you're never quite sure whats going to happen next. If you had to pigeon hole Arnold's films you could probably get a large rubber stamp made up that says 'Ken Loach/Mike Leigh gritty social realism' and womp that on them, and I don't mean that in a negative way. Her films center on council estate life, but never stray into caricature, even though Danny Dyer does have a part in Wasp.

Can't wait for Fish Tank to come out, I heartily recommend watching Red Road in the meantime, I think I'm going to re watch in anticipation.

Things I have been wrong about.

A few years ago I woke one day to find I no longer liked dancing. Going clubbing was for some reason no longer an enjoyable night out for me. With the arrogance of youth, I decided that this was because I was 'over' it; I was too cerebral for dancing. I began to see myself as some kind of dance floor dissenter, seeing through the fug of fun, straight to the rotten heart of this gyrating enjoyment. Dancing wasn't fun. It was stupid. It was for gawping, badly beshirted twerps and prancing ninny's.

However, recently the truth has dawned on me. I was wrong all along. I wasn't more perceptive than everyone else. My brain was subconsciously protecting me from a basic fact of my physiological make-up. A fact that would hurt me, and make me feel fallible.

I have no rhythm.

This personal discovery was made whilst playing Wii-Fit at home one day. Having got high scores in most of the balance games, I tried one that I had been avoiding; a dance based/step aerobics type game. I was fucking rubbish at it. The simple act of putting the correct foot onto the balance board in time with the music was hideously beyond me. I was a shattered man.

I used to love dancing. I was really into it. I knew I could pull a dance move. That was all I thought I needed. I was able to learn to move my limbs in a certain way, in a correct order and pattern. That's a good indicator of dancing ability, surely? The problem with this idea is:

a) I don't live in a Paula Abdul music video.
b) The issue I have is rhythm: stringing these so called 'moves' together.

I have no flow, no natural transition. I think my dancing is probably like one of those computer programs that speaks what you type; there is a semblance of cohesion, but without any discernible humanity or realism.

I should have realised, I remember someone once reacting to my dancing with the words "you're a great physical comedian.' At the moment, I think I'm close to hitting Dad dancing territory, and I'm not even a fucking Dad. I'm surprised my heart even manages to stay beating rhythmically.

I'm just glad of my in-built shame monitor, it has somehow managed to sway me away from potential embarrassment. Actually, the word sway probably isn't appropriate, being as it implies some form of natural grace of movement.

Having now cut through the layers of self deception, I realise I must secretly want to dance again. I'm going to master that fucking Wii-Fit game, no matter how long it takes, then get back out onto that dance floor!

The only problem then will be finding a club that plays the same, slow, metronomic, sinisterly upbeat tune over and over again, and allows punters to use big chunks of plastic to dance onto.

Velvet

Please check out this new song from The Big Pink. They've put out some really good shoegazey tunes but this new single just blew me away, to the point where i'm doing that really twatty thing of worrying if they're going to 'get big' and then the snob in me will want to not like them anymore.

The video is awesome too -

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j_5RA-AapMo

See if you can spot the sheep in these double exposures.

Camping